Sic A Wife As Willie Had

    sic a wife as willie had
    willie wastle dwalt on tweed,
    the spot they ca'd it linkumdoddie;
    willie was a wabster gude,
    could stown a clue wi' ony body:
    he had a wife was dour and din,
    o tinkler maidgie was her mither;
    sic a wife as willie had,
    i wad na gie a button for her!
    she has an e'e, she has but ane,
    the cat has twa the very colour;
    five rusty teeth, forbye a stump,
    a clapper tongue wad deave a miller:
    a whiskin beard about her mou',
    her nose and chin they threaten ither;
    sic a wife as willie had,
    i wadna gie a button for her!
    she's bow-hough'd, she's hein-shin'd,
    ae limpin leg a hand-breed shorter;
    she's twisted right, she's twisted left,
    to balance fair in ilka quarter:
    she has a lump upon her breast,
    the twin o' that upon her shouther;
    sic a wife as willie had,
    i wadna gie a button for her!
    auld baudrons by the ingle sits,
    an' wi' her loof her face a-washin;
    but willie's wife is nae sae trig,
    she dights her grunzie wi' a hushion;
    her walie nieves like midden-creels,
    her face wad fyle the logan water;
    sic a wife as willie had,
    i wadna gie a button for her!