二、14. 怀疑

    上次可蓉「也」很晚回家，用同样理由：
    ”i was doing homework with mr. wu’s assistance. i finished today’s workload before leaving. that’s why i am ‘a little’ late.”
    「老师有必要做到这种程度吗？你说女老师就算了──那个姓吴的小鬼是个二十多岁的男人──噢不，是只会用命根子思考的大野狼──呢！」她马麻一定这么想。
    可蓉用眼角馀光看向马麻的脸：
    一张责备、质疑，却不确定，仍抱持想相信你的面孔。
    那种「想相信你」的感情，不是基于真的相信你的信念，而是不容自己「完美家长」的自尊，与「教育有方」的信心，因为「原来你是这种说谎成性的小孩」与「身为家长我没有把你教好」的事实，而被碰碎。
    「ariel, are you hiding something from mommy? why are you getting so close to your homeroom teacher?」
    「because i am making him fall for me—」
    【我要他拜倒在我的石榴裙下，不行吗？──】
    可蓉没有这么说，儘管气一上来，差点忘了要控制情绪──儘管只有毫秒──一已经在内心犯了戒律、不小心踰越「不准顶撞妈咪」的规矩。
    「i have been busy with the rehearsals with the girls. i don’t have enough time to study on my own. . . . i asked mr. wu for help . . . he has been a big help for my grades. i really appreciate his help, no other feelings. that’s all.」
    「i swear to—」
    她急着堵住自己的嘴，remembering that she was scolded pretty bad once when blurting out swearing words.
    【她曾因不小心「出口成脏，」惨遭臭骂】
    「i cross my heart: he was helping me with my homework. that is all.」
    「mommy don’t know whether you are lying . . . why—‘second place’ among all the students in the school—aren’t you supposed to rank the ‘first place?’」
    【你怎么没拿「第一名？」】
    她真的尽了最大努力──既要假扮班上的资优生、假装跟话剧女孩们融洽相处，又要迎合妈咪，还得兼顾课业──
    最后还是以全科总分一、两分之差，输给校排第一的女生。
    「i have done the best i could,」她据实以对，「mommy . . .」
    「i’m not scolding you . . . i just want to know what you have been doing with your homeroom teacher—that’s all i want to know.」
    她心一抽；一时之间找不到藉口，只好沉默。
    「it seems to mommy . . . you are not seeking advice but doing something else . . .」
    「it is because i didn’t do well in the first midterm exam . . . i realize the most efficient way is to seek help from the homeroom teacher . . . so i turn to mr. wu for help.」
    （那是因为，平常也鲜少操心可蓉的课业。毕竟，ariel可是刘马麻用心「栽培」的宝贝女儿──以前就是，现在仍是，今后必定还是资优生。）
    「okay—mommy believe you . . .」经一番拷问也问不出什么，她妈妈叹了口气，只能暂且妥协，「for this time only.」
    make sure you rank the first place next time.
    【记得下次要考第一名。】